today was the most stressful day of the year so far.
i wont go into detail but let's just say my lackadaisical days have caught up to me.

its been hard getting back to the swing of things since i've returned from my trip.
i've been told by more than one person, separate occasions, that i "change" after i travel.
i would kinda figure that that's a given but i guess some just can't adjust to
whatever changes they feel have occurred.

i don't think i've changed this time. well maybe...
but i think it's more like i've reverted to my old ways.

of

being carefree
destruction
binges
interactivity (human to human)
rebelling (but with better wisdom)
freedom seeking
creative satisfaction


so forth and so on. yeah, that's vague. i know.
but pretty much...
i've been stoned since the start of my trip,
up until now - as i'm writing this entry. soo...you know.  that's whats up.

it feels like i haven't been home in ages.
my feet are constantly moving and my body rests
only when it has given up for the day.
sometimes i find myself waking in a different
environment..
then crawling to my bed to possibly catch some dreams.

i'm moving.
to a new habitat,
to a new dwelling place.
to different places,
micro- and macro-
cosms of all sorts.

hoping to feel at home in all of the above mentioned whereabouts.

i'm going.
to the nooks and niches
of every affair i encounter.
and hope to find pieces of home there, too.

damn its been a while since i've written.
nothing and everything makes sense.